Disclaimer: All of my previous works (like De Bello Gallico, for example) were written in the third person to sound objective. (Which is actually almost true. Lying face) This blog, however, I’m writing from my personal point of view—exactly how I experienced it. So if any ethnic minority feels offended, I apologize. I’m skipping gender-neutral language purely for readability. And one more thing: I’m not really into modern stuff, but the multi picturae were apparently created by someone called “Ka I” or something like that.

But now, let’s get started:

I was finally born. Don’t get me wrong—I’m already a bit older now, obviously old enough to post my own experiences. But believe me: on the very day of my birth, July 13th, 100 BC, when I was born in Rome, I already knew I wanted to rule all of Rome. Back then, I didn’t realize the world was even bigger. Now, of course, I want to rule the whole world. But that’s just a side note.

I come from the noble Julian family, which traces its lineage back to the goddess Venus. My family doesn’t exactly have a lot of money, but divine ancestry makes up for that. So, in a way, world domination is basically my destiny. Don’t you think?

Anyway: I’ll be presenting my rocky path 🧗‍♂️to success (which you’re welcome to take inspiration from) in chronological order on this blog. You, my loyal followers, will always be the first to hear about my latest conquests.

And another thing: please send donations for my election campaigns in Bitcoin 🪙 to:

bc1qvru9puu2wyk8uns7eg2lxwjadnpxqasfxc0val

Naturally, you’ll receive an automatic receipt from me.

If that’s all too futuristic for you, just support me via “Meum Merch”—yes, my merch, my shop—if you don’t know what that means, never mind. Just buy enough clothes until you’ve spent at least one Bitcoin (that’s not that much). I mean, I can’t go into the election poor, can I?

Meum Merch

In war, important events often have humble causes.

Gaius Julius Caesar

And I’ll be writing in this blog about those causes—how they really happened (not how my many enemies falsely portray them).

Igitur lege cum voluptate!